2001 Conscious Friends

What a gift
Souls’ journeys
tied together
in the warm bodies
that roam this world
— Randy Mack 12-29-01

Happiness and Sadness
offer the same thing
distraction
fascination with form
Whereas joy and grief
when deeply felt
offer something else
direct contact with the unmanifest
the primal hallelujah

What happens when a heart explodes
What force drives it
Oh God I feel so helpless
So scared
and yet
So Blessed

Intensity for its own sake
dismisses too much subtlety
for my tastes
though I understand those
for whom it is sufficient

The quid pro quo of Love
is Presence
an intense engagement
with Now
All else is infatuation
with phantasmagoria

Two human souls embodied
desiring union with each other
enter the courtship dance
confidence (or is it wishful thinking)
overcomes fear (or is it good sense)
Only Time will tell
though I believe
that to dance this dance at all
is to be deeply blessed

There is a quiet strength
that comes
when the human heart
is deeply grounded
in equilibrium —
a steadfastness
that sees through
the dichotomy
of life’s daily vicissitudes —
and is anchored
in the peaceful depths
of Beingness
In this present Moment
and this
what problems exist

It is only when the mind
runs in circles
like a dog chasing its tail
that problems arise

I know this Truth
because I watch it
in myself
and more and more often
can laugh
at the antics
of the ego’s
crazy busyness

How does love arise in some moment
from its eternal presence
into a profound awareness
within myselfWhat’s the key
what’s the lock
and who (or what)
does the locking
and the unlocking

Can I reach
with these very hands
into the dark space
where the key is lying
upon a deep red satin pillow

Can I reach
with this very heartmind
into such a torrent of love
a current with strength of such power
that to barely touch it
is to be swept away
in joy

And racing along
upon the current
with its spins and eddies
its sharp rises and falls
through periods of calm
into shuddering crescendos
of bone-jolting suddenness
that seem to want
to conspire
to throw me off

Where Now drama turns into comic play
as my ego clutches to what it knows
no matter how unpleasant that has been
but my soul lets go
becoming the fine mist
that takes in the white light of original creation
and radiates it back out again
in a multitude of rainbow dancers
singing joy

And settling
in the end
to simply this
the Peace that Passeth Understanding

Yet Ageless

Rain came in the night
lashing
dashing out a staccato code
calling forth Spring’s
symphonic voice
of brilliant color

and the dawn
lit
hesitant at first
then brightly
gusting
with the dénouement
of Winter’s
still chilled charm

and I sit
pen in hand
wondering
if my long winters
of separateness
will finally blossom
into a Spring
of peaceful knowing

I, confused by what this very pronoun
means
who, what, how, am I
feel
the quickening within
the readiness of the old self
to die
and in that very dying
birth
something, someone
new
yet
ageless

This morning
Life celebrates
as it always does
through me
and thanks me
for Nothing

To Go On

(a ghostly figure)

What is the dark Mystery
that lies in wait
within the depth
of Woman

it draws me
like a moth to a flame
and there too
have I been
burned
incinerated

to go on
a ghostly figure
made of ashes

The Peaceful Soul
makes no demands
on Life
For Fullness
Is

As long as I define / categorize
some part of my self/ behavior as bad
for that long am I going to continue
to be / do that
Acceptance must come
not at the level of ego’s superficial concern
but at the ontological root
of my very Beingness

Surrounded and Imbued

This morning awakens to itself
in a splash of birdsongs
and golden sky tints turning blue

in the field of my mind
waves surge in sinuous repetitions
playing out the nuances of familiar themes

in vast chambers
faint echoes comment on my progress
and we have a good laugh together

quiet joys and bath tub toys
mix their bright hues
as frivolity seizes the day

The peaceful heart
rests
surrounded and imbued with beauty

Forgive my father
Forgive myselfForgive my mother
Forgive myself

Forgive myself
Forgive

old friends
raise their glasses
to toast
traditions maintained
awareness present
journeys launched
and
adventures to come
all linked
outside of Time
yet
seamless
in Space

Wisdom
the deep core knowing
of the Ultimate Truth
of Being
Here
as Divine Human
flutters
like a leaf on the wind
just out of reach
of the I
who will not see

My soul’s barriers
like a wall of seemingly
impenetrable green
lining a placid jungle river
holds a dark intrigue
and I can’t quite decide
if it is more of a threat
or a promise

Horror
unspeakable, unmentionable
lurks just beneath the surface
waiting, waiting
to come out and attack
at the first sign
of returning
innocence and joy
It will not let its
hellish realm
be so tainted
It will not give up its
dark and miserable majesty

And why should it
What does it have to gain
from some petty
human
peace and happiness

FUCK YOU
you bullshit
you arrogant denial
of the very truth
of what is

I’ll rip your guts out
and stuff them down
one of these prairie dog holes
and let’s see how you like
being condemned
to irrelevance
for once

Since one person’s tortuous route
is the punch line to someone else’s joke

And since I’m not laughing

Guess which one am I

Now soft
beneath the low dawn sky
clouds embracing mountain tops
like pillows for the minds and spirits
now inverting themselves
as does
this teaching
of Waking Down

Say what you will
but this Consciousness
gusting like fierce mustangs
thundering through the mountain valleys
laughs at your pretense
of limitation

Brilliant sunlit morning
Rocky Mt. High at 8500 feet
Waking Down Transfiguration Retreat
Estes Park, Colorado, YMCA, May 2001

My heart 3 feet high — literally
and as wide as an ocean with no shores

This ocean of Love
that will heal the world
awakens in me
and my heart burns with a cold fire
fierce gaze and determined posture
portray clear intent

My Bodhisattva Vow
My Apostle’s Creed

“Though humans caught in egoic confusion number
      in the billions
I vow to live all the days or years of this life
and any other I may have
in absolute dedication to our mutual
Awakening and deepening of Consciousness.”

Heart resting in Peace
Body settled Here
Mind clear as mountain’s water

Oh this Heart
that breaks at the pain and loss
of even the smallest ones
the most briefly lived
And yet holds
within it
the immensity of Christ’s Love
burning with the radiant glory of a sun

This Heart
would have all sentient beings know
their own true selves
and dedicates itself to that
with the totality of its Being
and all the resources
it can bring to bear
on this
most important matter

Days within reach of nights without end
shimmering tintinnabulums
echoing down misty channels,
pools of light
accenting the transition points
where choices made
swell into maturing appendices
of lives
not coming this way again

Gift and giving
sojourn through the morning’s mind
Bright light dancing
out of night’s black golden filigree
Sighing and receiving
the sensuous play of morning’s passion
Undulating spine tip’s pleasure
with This Embodiment of the Goddess

Presence
Eternal
Unmitigated
could not care less about you
and yet
loves you
more than you could ever
love yourself

This is one of the Paradoxes
that comes with
living in a Conscious Universe

Might as well
get used to it

The known world
like a wooden ship splintered
upon the rocky shoals
some stormy night at sea,
goes down
into the deep unyielding
while all the names
that have ever named in vain
scramble to find new niches,
desperate
for their old conceptual haunts
that are no more.

Upon the rocky shore
mind sublime
tosses itself to and fro
filling every cavity, every niche
with sprays of liquid light
and fluid warmth
Pulsating wonder
Consciousness without boundaries
seeking constantly
ever curious
but never needy

It is what we are

My Heart is waiting for an act of Grace,
an opening into the fathomless,
the immeasurable Ground of Being.
My human birthright waits
and I would reach out for it
if I just had the hands
to reach into the sublime realms
where It lives.
But sadly, I do not.

Ohh this bright promise of Joy
Ohh this sweet pain in waiting

Sadness — sweet and poignant
as a great love’s decline
leads into a dark night
with no promise
that anything like it
will ever come again
But what else to do
but love the ending
as the beginning
for all appearances and events
are only cycles
in the Grand Helix’s
dance through Time

Time’s touch that once held me,
that clutched and pulled,
pushed and prodded
no longer clouds my life.
I still move and plan and dance,
but the pressure’s gone,
freedom’s come home.

I’m Here at last!

Oh how time passes
beyond the outstretching grasps
of the mind’s feeble attempts
to hold on to those golden moments
And yet there is always
still this, and this, and this
and IT isn’t going away

So the wise person
lets go of what cannot
be held anyway
and rests in the arms
of that, and only that,
which is eternal.
The peace of God
The Oneness of Consciousness
That which is Now

This Moment’s Fullness
is not dependent upon
any Thing
or Doing.

Rather it exists
as Itself
Complete and Content
though chaos reigns
throughout the world of form.

blank spaces
filled with the mind’s trivia
the why nots and what fors
the shouldn’t have beens
and couldn’t have beens

all the while
the heart’s great intensity
lies waiting
like a time bomb
clock ticking
counting down until it will explode
to fill spacetime
with its passion

why not now
what fear constrains
its inevitable
blossoming

I would know
and unleash
its radiance